I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
