if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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