My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
