Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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