That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
