Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
