I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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