ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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