we have pet lesbian snakes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm like, not good at living.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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