I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
