That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
