i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
