nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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