As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
