His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
