i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
