So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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