I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
