My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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