I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
