you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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