real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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