Fuck appropriateness.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
