I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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