I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
