I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
