I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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