yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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