She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
