My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
