i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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