I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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