HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
