Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
