The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
ttyl tear gas
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
