Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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