Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
