yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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