he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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