you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
