I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
