Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
