I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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