The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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