do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
