Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
