Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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