On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
