Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
