So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
