I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
