his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
