soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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