if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
