That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
