Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
