The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
whose parrot is this?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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