It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
