Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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