Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Randomize
