just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize