Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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