My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
