The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They took my balls.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
