I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
