In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
