I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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